Listen More - Talk Less. How to improve familial communication.



Listen more and talk less.  Improve communication

If you find that communication between you and your partner is strained you might just look to see if "distractions" are affecting the way you communicate.

Effective Communication

Why bother speaking if your communication isn't effective? That's to say, if it can't be understood or felt, then why attempt to speak with your spouse in the first place?

There in lies the problem. You may want to speak, but can you listen first, thus being the first to show respect for the other person?

Effective communication is more about listening than speaking. And, according to an article on helpguide.org you can learn to be an effective communicator through:

1. Engaged Listening - set aside all distractions and focus on the message your partner is sharing.

2. Nonverbal Communication - show them that you are really listening through subtle head movements, eye contact and facial expressions that really empathize with their message.

If you let negative communication get in the way, you will find yourself exhibiting:

1. Out-of-control emotions - try to calm yourself before engaging in effective communication, if you don't this can be the one poison in the whole attempt to have a meaningful discussion.

2. Not focusing on the exchange - set aside all distractions before engaging in a sharing and listening moment. Cell phones are probably the rudest and single most reason why people are distracted. Set it aside and really respect the process you are engaging in. This also shows the other person that they are respected.

Avoid Distraction

There are two types of distraction according to Sciencing.com. The first of these two primary distractions is external distractions.

This day in age it is very easy to be distracted. Things are buzzing and beeping everywhere. We are giving a lot of attention to gizmos and gadgets that are constantly vying for our attention.

Try this: Leave your gadgets outside the room you are talking in. Turn off the TV and really focus on the importance a meaningful exchange. The more you practice this, the easier it will be to make the conversation between you and your mate a priority.

The second type of distraction is internal distractions. These can be disquieting thoughts such as work, kids, what annoys you about the person you are communicating with, etc.

Try this: Prepare ahead of time. Empty your mind of all the everyday things and focus on how you will listen and what you will say when it is your turn to share your thoughts or feelings.

Communication is All Encompassing

Communication is about listening first. However, there are several other points are important too and you might choose to build on these a little at a time. According to this article a few more are:

  • Making Assumptions

  • Premature Solutions

  • Listening to the words not the meaning

  • Not choosing appropriate time, place and circumstances

  • Not asking questions to help you understand the matter better

  • Clear expression of your feelings, don't disguise them in anger and bitterness. The more human you can be, the more humanely your mate will treat you in response.

Changing the way we communicate can have profound effects in all areas of our life. As a private investigator, I work with a great deal of people going through very difficult circumstances. Some of which could be mitigated through better communication.

We are all learning, education at a university ends in a few years, but life learning goes on through all our days. Cultivating a kind and respectful method of communicating can be difficult, but if you start with some basics such as ridding yourself of distractions; quick to listen and slow to speak and showing respect for the others expressions can be a solid foundation to growing in your ability to communicate in your family.

About: Steve Garrett is a California licensed private investigator. The intent of this article is to provide some helpful tips that can bolster relationships rather than tear them apart. If we can be of any assistance, please get in touch.

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